Monthly Archives: December 2015

Thank You God for Separation

Dear Heavenly Father,

     I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.  My entire life there is no one that I dislike, am angry with or dare say hate enough to wish this on.  When I am not dragging myself out of the bed from the exhaustion of depression I am fighting that electrified feeling of the adrenaline surging through my entire body: every cell! My chest hurts, is there an elephant sitting on me?  My heart hurts.  No, not like that, it actually aches.  Internally I am a wreck; the emotional carnage is devastating, a real bloodbath.

     Oh the fear and uncertainty.  What about my true love, what about my love for her, what about our daughters, our future?  I am scared Father.  The pain compounds the paranoia.  My instinct tells me to analyze it, break it down into a bento box and fix it.  Learn from it, repair it, get away from it, and never cross its path again.  But I can’t.  It makes no sense, it isn’t logical or analytical – it’s emotional and it is uncontrollable.  I am powerless and it is in that revelation that I turn to you Father.  You are in control.  Teach me to seek you, to find you and embrace you.  Embrace me – hug me, love me.  Take this cup from me and if it is not to be and it is the cup I am to bear, send the Holy Spirit to comfort me; to counsel me.  I submit.  It’s your will, your way and your timing.

Continue reading Thank You God for Separation

BURN THE SHIPS!

Burn the Ships

In 1519 Spanish conquistador and explorer Hernando Cortez decided that he would do what had not been in six-hundred years.  His unlikely feat was to sail the ocean with 500 soldiers 100 sailors and seize the treasure the Aztecs Indians of Mexico had hoarded.  However, once he landed on the foreign shores some of his men, having doubts about their own numbers and attacking a six-hundred year old civilization began to plot to seize some ships and sail for friendly Cuba.  You see his men were not completely committed and he knew that if retreat was an option that his men would not be focused and one-hundred percent committed to the task.  His solution?  Burn the ships.  Once the ships were gone it was victory or death, all or nothing. And it worked!

Listen up all of those that are not 110% committed to your relationship and men I am primarily talking directly to you.  I heard the excuse just today; “why should I do it if she won’t?”  I’ll tell you why, and you can push back, argue or just flat out reject what I’m about to tell you it won’t surprise me.  In fact I don’t blame you – I used to think it was ludicrous too.  I am here to tell you it’s not.

Continue reading BURN THE SHIPS!

One For The Busy Moms

This idea is all my mom’s – God rest her soul – I miss her dearly.

I am one of seven raised by a hardworking single mom. Mom – the job that never ends. Let me tell you what mine did to get some relief.

The local sporting goods store had a table where they would put all of the custom made jerseys and shirts that were not sold. Sometimes the lettering would be off, the numbers wrong, or they were just never claimed.  The orphaned shirts were sold at deep discounts; usually less than the value of the shirt. Continue reading One For The Busy Moms

Parallels Between Swimming and Where I Am in My Marriage.

I once told a friend that swimming is like my marriage. I was terrible at swimming but once I did get help it made me aware of some things.

1.)  I know how to do it well enough to stay afloat. I just didn’t know how bad I was until I got the right help.

2.) It’s difficult but gets easier once someone shows you the techniques.

3.) It’s the subtleties in your actions that make all the difference in how much effort you have to exert.

Continue reading Parallels Between Swimming and Where I Am in My Marriage.

If Only She Could Hear Me (full version)

A friend had his ex-wife call me the other day so that she and I could talk.  My task was to help her better see his perspective of an issue they were discussing.  During the conversation she started to get emotional and I asked her what was wrong.  She started to choke up and told me that she felt that every time that she and my friend had a discussion and she was “winning” that he would verbally lash out at her.  Through the ensuing sobbing I heard her say; when you get told that you are a “stupid whore” enough times for long enough, I guess you just start to believe it.  I guess I am just a “stupid whore.”  Really I asked her; he calls you that?  All of the time she responded; he tells me it’s my fault.

I was appalled.  How could any respectable man speak to a woman that way?  She is feisty, independent and stands her own ground but really; a stupid whore?  She is far from either.  She’s a business owner and a great mom.  She works fifty hours a week and spends the remainder of the time as a single mom – hardly a “clubber”. Continue reading If Only She Could Hear Me (full version)